This Could Get Expensive

At 11:30 this morning, with the sun shining and the revised weather forecast looking dry for at least another 4 hours, I decided to go out to Munson Lake to do some trail work and exploring around Mega Crystals.  

By 12:30, I was on Seven Mile Lake Rd, which was in great condition: dry, flat and firm, with new fill added to some of the low points.  Turning onto Munson Lake Rd was a bit wet, but very solid, the only sign of spring conditions was the heaved culvert.  About a kilometre in, I approached a wet spot, so veered away from the mud tracks and towards the dry gravel shoulder. CLUNK! I stopped moving. (Expletives!)  I got out, grabbed the shovel, and walked around to the passenger side.  I stepped onto the dry gravel and sunk in above my boot top.  (Expletives!) The soft sand and gravel, though dry on the surface, was absolutely saturated muck.  Honest to goodness quicksand!  There was no way I could shovel my car free. (Expletives!) Take a scoop out and it filled right back in. Wedging rocks for traction was futile as well.  I dug out my phone.  The battery was dead.  (Expletives!) Time to start walking.

Though I was careless to not charge my phone before leaving, and overzealous to try driving there, and cocky to continue on a wet road, and stupid to go alone, I did bring extra clothes and food.  So I packed them and headed back towards civilization.  Not surprisingly, the three nearest camps were vacant, but after about 3 or 4 Km of walking, I met four people standing around a couple of ATVs.  As I approached, they scattered, got on the bikes and averted my gaze.  An uncomfortable feeling came over me.  “Excuse me.  I went off the road back there, and am going to need a tow truck.  Would one of you happen to have a phone that I could borrow?”  

They asked what I was driving, where it was, then said they could probably get it out with their vehicles.  I doubted it, and told them so, but they insisted it was worth a try.  I figured if they’re volunteering to help, I should take it.  The whole conversation was odd though.  They spoke in abrupt monotone phrases and used no gestures.  They didn’t seem to look at anything or anyone in particular as they spoke.  Their faces, partially obscured by their helmets, seemed blank and expressionless.  

I turned around and hesitantly began the walk back to my car.  They mounted their steeds without a word, then sped past me.  The uneasy feeling returned, as my thoughts were swept up with the comparison between this exchange and the one between the canoeists and the Griner family in Deliverance.  One of these guys even had bad teeth...

I walked for close to a kilometre before I saw one of them coming back towards me.  It was the one with the bad teeth.  He handed me a helmet, but didn’t really say anything.  I thanked him and put it on, then climbed on the back of the ATV.  

♬ Deele-dee deedle-dee deedle-dee-dee-dum(b)...♬

We got to my car and three of the four started to talk a bit.  I managed to pick up two names: Dave  and Cody.  They hooked up the ATVs in series with a winch, and used some rope to try to pull out my car.  It made more sense to me to attach both vehicles to my own and have them pull parallel to one another, but I figured if they’re volunteering to help, I should take it.  I got in and started the engine.  As I shifted into reverse I heard a clang.  This could get expensive, I thought...

No one gave a start signal.  I saw that the lead ATV had started to pull, so I came off the clutch with the engine revving and tires spinning.  Of course the middle vehicle was late, and the under-sized winch cable snapped.  My car hadn’t even rocked.

We got everything untied, and as they debated who’d take me to the highway, I said if they’d take me as far as the store, I’d buy them a case of beer.  I’m not sure if that gift was considered unnecessary or inadequate, but they laughed at my proposal.  Eventually, it was settled that Dave would drive me and that the others should wait at my car for him to return, so that no one would shoot out my windows.  This could get very expensive, I thought...

He dropped me off near the off ramp. I thanked him.  As Dave took off, a car came to the top of the ramp. I ran over and asked for a drive to the store.  This nice family obliged kindly.

***

I asked the clerk if I could use the phone.  She asked what number, so I handed her the key fob with the Nissan roadside assistance number stamped on it.  Apparently not everyone knows that you must dial “1” before the “800”.  She tried and failed a second time.  When a customer came to the counter she directed me to a payphone outside.

I gave Jay, the operator, the information.  For some reason they have to ask if the car will be drivable once it’s removed from the mud and what type of tow truck would be needed.  “I can’t see under the car to tell if there’s anything damaged. I’m not a mechanic or a tow truck operator.  How should I know?”  He put me on hold to arrange a tow.  

He came back 5 minutes later asking how long it would take me to get back to the car.  I said 3 hours.  He put me on hold again.  Ten minutes passed this time.  He came back saying he thinks he found a truck that would be willing to pick me up at the store, and asked me more details of the cars location. (I will be in the cab with the driver and can show him the way, but apparently more complicated map work is required to satisfy some manger in Toronto, or Japan, or Bangalore.)  He put me on hold for another 10 minutes.  He said since it’s a seasonal road (no signs or barricades saying it’s so) the recovery may not be covered by roadside assistance and I may have to pay for it.  This could get very, very expensive, I thought...

Again, he put me on hold for 15 minutes.  He came back saying he couldn’t find anyone with a 4WD tow truck in the area, that maybe one might be available Monday at the earliest.  The cars situation was only going to worsen as the temperatures drop, I explained, and the rains forecasted will only make the road worse.  I assured him a two-wheel drive would be adequate.  Obviously the road is in good shape if I could drive to that point.  Hold again.  

Five minutes later Jay got back on the line and said no one wants to drive out there and risk getting their truck stuck.  I asked what I could do.  I was stranded.  This could get very, very, very expensive, I thought...

“Well, if it’s an emergency you could call the local or provincial police”, Jay said.

“What will they do?” I asked.  He didn’t reply.

I asked if they called everyone of if they only dealt with one local tow company.  “We have a few”, he replied.  

“Well can you tell me which ones, so I know who not to try calling, if I can manage to get some quarters?”

“Uh...no I can’t”

I called to a gentleman leaving the store as he walked towards his muddy Toyota Tacoma.  I explained my situation, and asked if he knew of anyone nearby who might have a big off-road truck with a winch.  He said no, but he’d be willing to try to help with his quarter ton 4x4.

Back on the phone with Jay, we agreed that we were getting nowhere with roadside assistance service, so we both might as well hang up.  Which we did.

While this was happening, the man with the muddy Tacoma spoke to his wife who had pulled into the parking lot behind him.  She seemed to support his offer to help me.

I thanked both of them and climbed into the truck.  We introduced ourselves as we drove.  Jason is a very nice man, and we spoke in French and English the whole way out.  We connected our vehicles with a tow strap.  I put the car in reverse, he gave a signal and pulled the little Versa back onto the road.  Quick and easy.  I turned it around and he followed me all the way back to the highway just in case I got stuck again.  Though it had been snowing for about an hour now and the dirt roads were wet and softening, the driving was still pretty easy, and uneventful.  Back on pavement, I thanked Jason again, then poked my head under my car to see that all was intact. 

 Relief!

I’ll be sending him some beer and jerky (as those are the only two foods that came up in our conversation, and he enjoys them both) as a thank you. 

On the drive home, I considered the practicality of that little Tacoma, and how well it not only drove those roads, but hauled my car from the mire.  I need a truck.  This could get expensive, I thought....